I Want What I Want

by: Lennon & Juliet

My human has this annoying habit that is really beginning to tick me off. I will jump up on the bed, sit next to her, stare her right in the face, and what does she do, well I’ll tell you what she does. 

She looks me right in my purr-fect kitty face and says “What do you want?”!  I ask you what kind of a dumb question is that for her to ask me? She should always know that “I want what I want, When I want it” it’s as simple as that. Her job, her sole purpose in life is to anticipate my every want and need in advance.

What else does she have to do, nothing that’s what, she lays in that bed all day watching that dumb talking box and going online doing who knows what.

We know for a fact that she does not write a blog, run a website, have a Facebook page, or Twitter account to keep up with like Juliet and I do, we have checked and there is nothing in her name anywhere online in this universe or any other universe that we could find.

I just cannot imagine other kitty cats like Juliet and me allowing their human to be so brazen and have the unmitigated gall to ask such a question of you.

There are  times when she asks me or Juliet if we need food or water in our dish, we give her the look, you know the look, that says YES dummy we are both sitting at our food dish where we can see a tiny empty spot in the bottom of the dish meowing our heads off because both bowls are completely full.

There is another thing she does that makes me want to drag my claws down the wall. If I  jump up on the bed look at her and then look at the treat drawer. How could she not know that “I want what I want, when I want it”, a treat. Is that too difficult for her pea brain to figure out?

Juliet and I are beginning to think we should get together with some of our fur-iends and open a school for humans where they can receive the proper instruction on how to know “What we want, When we Want it”.

Have a good week everyone and we will purr more next week!

He's My Brother

By: Juliet the Prissy Kitty

I just don’t know what to think anymore, I was under the impression when I came to live in my forever home everything bad was forever vanished from my life.

However, I have learned I was lied too that’s the only way I know how to say it they flat out lied to me and I am not at all happy about this betrayal.

Okay I have it pretty good, plenty of food, water, toys, air conditioning in the summer and heat in the winter, and lots of hugs and belly rubs.

The problem is my new brother he is so pesky and it just drives me crazy, honestly sometimes I would like to run away..

There are other times when I laugh so hard at the silly things he does I think my sides with open up or something.

The other day he was running around the house like he always does, running from the living room window, into the eating room, up on the counter, to the top of the cold food box, and then splat! Yes, I said splat he missed a step and instead of jumping from the top of the cabinets to the top of the cold food box he fell to the floor and on his way down hit the edge of the counter.

I was just giggling but not mommy her went spastic, she tries to get out of bed fast which alone is funny because she can’t do that fast. When she finally got in her rolling chair she is calling to Lennon, “Lennon are you okay, mommy’s coming, don’t worry Lennon, mommy is coming”.

I am sitting on the kitchen counter giggling and Lennon is hissing and spitting at me cause I am laughing then just about the time mommy got to him, ZOOM, he ran up on top of the cabinets. There is mommy saying “Lennon come down let mommy make sure you are okay”.

Lennon sits up there like a dummy and every time mommy calls his name he just meows, I am still giggling so he hisses at me which makes mommy think it’s because he is hurt.

I think he was trying to make mommy feel sorry for him but me I just giggled and giggled.

Hope you guys are giggling too…

We Think Our Mommy is Crazy

By: Juliet & Lennon

Juliet and I have been talking. We have decided that our mommy may be crazy.

Here’s the scoop, mommy thinks we don’t know when she’s talking about us. At the same time she thinks Juliet and I carry on conversations with each other. I don’t mean like we just MEOW back and forth. She tells her friend that we use different tones and volumes for different things we say.

Juliet feels it’s funny because mommy is right. We know kitties have different sounds, tones, and volumes we use to express what we’re saying.

Of course when she uses dumb baby talk we don’t understand anything coming out of her mouth.

We think when we wrote our blog about the different sounds kitties make mommy was reading over our shoulder. That’s the only explanation, or she’s crazy! I vote for she’s crazy.

If she was reading over our shoulder kitties that read our blog could be in trouble too. We suggest you keep your ears open just in case your human did the same thing.

This started when we were sitting across the room from each other, we began meowing, doing chirp’s, and trills. Hearing this Mommy got interested in our vocalizations. One of us would do several trills, meows, and purrs. Then the other would do some chattering, chittering or twittering, using different tones.

We also heard mommy tell her friend she’s going to start keeping a journal. She may even install a motion camera with a microphone. She thinks this will help her figure out what each sound we use means, or what word she thinks we’re saying.

Our plan is to have a make believe conversation for her benefit. We’ll pretend we’re in a kitty group plotting to take over the world. We hope our friends start doing the same thing to their humans.

We need to come up with a really good story that sounds believable. Our mommy may be crazy, but she’s not stupid. After all she came to live with us.

Now we have a plan, to make our mommy think we're part of a kitty revolution taking over the world. This should really torture her.

Well guys we need to start writing the first part of our little story that will drive our mommy crazier than she is already.

We hope you all have a wonderful weekend and a great week.

What’s a Girl to Do?

by: Lennon & Juliet

“Psst Hay Mom, psst mommy!" 

"What is it Juliet and why are you meowhispering?"  

"I am meowhispering bepaws Lennon is asleep on top of the eating room cabinets and I is wondering if me can use da puter while Lennon is asleep.  Juliet you don’t have to ask to use the computer it is your laptop too.”

So me sneaks over to the cabinet dat Lennon put the computer in and get da computer, he thinks I did not see where he puts it but me saw him. Now me has climbed under da sleeper sofa where Lennon can’t find me to write something in our blog so here we go!

A Meowlicious  hello to everypawdy me sure hope you had a good week.  This is Juliet the Prissy Kitty as you may have guess from the title of this week’s blog. Lennon has been keeping close watch on the computer since I snuck off with it the other time while he was sleeping.

I have had a very strange week and me not sure if it’s ever gonna end, Lennon my brofur is driving me crazy.  He wants to play all the time now don’t get me wrong I love to play as much as the next kitty but a girl has to have her beauty rest.

Every time I try to sleep here comes that pesky paw to wake me up he starts by playing with my tail and if I don’t take the bait he will work his way up to my head.

I know he told you guys that I was sleeping in the window and when me fell asleep I fell out of da window but that’s not exactly what happened. I did go behind the curtain and on the window sill and yes I went to sleep but it was Lennon messing with my tail that made me fall out of the window.

“Juliet da hoomom say you has MY laptop and I want it back, what are you doing with it anyway? You better not be writing in MY blog!”

“Yes, Lennon I have OUR laptop and yes I am writing in OUR blog, da hoomom say me could and dat you need to stop saying it’s only your blog.”

Like I was saying Lennon is always pestering me I don’t care where I try to hide to get some beauty sleep here he comes. The other day I went under da sleeper sofa cause there is a hole tore in the bottom piece of  fabric so I climbed up inside there and went to sleep. It was not long before here comes Lennon trying to tear the hole bigger and get inside to aggravate me.

He did not succeed in getting to me, he did succeed in scaring our hoomom half to death because when him was trying to tear the hole bigger he got a pretty big piece of fabric down his throat and could not swallow it or hack it back out.

Our hoomom was very scared cause Lennon could not breath and her has a hard time getting out of da bed to get to him because of her disease. Then Lennon bitted her twice before her could get hold of the fabric and pull it out  of hims mouth. Lennon screamed like a little girl when her pulled dat piece of cloth out den hims realized he could breathe again the was like all lovey dovey  wid our hoomom.

Him should has been sweet to our mommy cause her was crying, shaking, and it a lot of pain because Lennon just had to aggravate me like usual.

“Here comes dat pesky Lennon now!”

“There you are Juliet, why are you under da sofa? You know MY mommy say we are not supposed to be under dat thing anymore.”

“Lennon actually mommy gave me permission to bring the laptop under da sofa so I could write in peace for a change, besides it was you she told not to be under the sofa anymore.”

I has to admit that I have been teasing Lennon about the way him screamed like a little girl but I was scared like da hoomom. Lennon is just very lucky mommy is always reading things about first aid for kitty cats it has not been long since her read one on how to help a kitty that has swallowed string.

Well it wasn’t a hairball but dis is kind of what Lennon looked like trying to hack up dat piece of fabric

A choking cat is a truly distressing experience and fast action is essential to try and alleviate the problem.

You can read the steps you need to take if anything like what happened wid my brofur happens to you or your kitty at Wikihow.com.

http://www.wikihow.com/Save-a-Choking-Cat

We will be back next week to tell you something else silly and pawssibly dangerous dat me brofur may has done….

How Do I Make Her Listen

By: Lennon & Juliet

Meowllo MY Fur-iends

Meowllo again Efurryone, me got a pawblems!

First I has pawblems wid da mommy, her is trying to starve me to death. Her does not understand dat if ME can see one tiny spot in the bottom of MY food dish where ME can see da bowl instead of FOOD, ME is in danger of starving.

“You are being overly dramatic again Lennon and you is the only one in dis house dat thinks that way I know me not gonna starve cause every square inch of the bowl is not filled to the brim with food.”

“No Juliet you are de pig dat eats so muches dat MY slave cans not keep de bowl filled up all the time.”

Read More

A Prissy Kitty Tickled Pink

Meowllo Efurryone, I imagine you are wondering about the title of this week’s blog. Here’s the scoop, I, Me, My Prissy Self,  Juliet named it see my brofur is sleeping so me grabs the puter, climbs under the sofa so the light won’t wake him, and me is trying to be very quiet so he won’t hear me and take over the puter like he always does.,

Me wanted to talk about kitty communication as we kitties all know  kitties communiate better than pawsably any living thing on the planet I means purreal we volcalize, we use our tail to communicate, our eyes, our ears, our noses, our mouth and even our belly after all we have to roll over to show them where to rub.

When me meow  me could be saying "Hey, how ya doin'?”, it could be a command like "I want up, I want down, More food now", it could also be an objection "Touch me at your own risk", or we could be making an announcement like "Here's your mouse".

Mes even walk around the house meowing to myself which drives the humom batty, she talks to herself all the time so what’s the big mew!

We make many other sounds that humans don’t understand but I won’t discuss them in detail as we could be in mixed company a hooman could be reading over your shoulder in an attempt to learn our secrets.

So we’ll just list them cause you guys know what they all mean!

Chirps and trills,  purring, growling, hissing, spitting, yowl, howl, chattering, chittering,  and twittering (no not Tweeting on Twitter).

Our humom has been bragging to hers hooman friends that Lennon and me is getting along purrfectly because what she does not notice is our body language. Lennon can be very annoying like I imagine most little brofurs can. The humom does not read our body language just like she does not know as much as she thinks she does about the sounds we make.

        “Juliet where are you, do you have MY computer?

Oh poo it’s Lennon he is awake and screeching at me like he is my boss or something.

“Yes, I have OUR computer Lennon take a chill pill and stop being rude I am wrinting in OUR blog.”

Well kitties me guess the blissful silence is katput since me brofur  is awake and being intrusive.

Meollow it’s Lennon the Meowravlous here guess what me woke up and found dat Juliet had stoled MY laptop and me is MAD! I have to share MY humom (aka the slave), MY litterbox, MY food, and MY toys with her but I am putting my paw down at this continued disrespect where MY laptop is concerned.

“Do you hears what me is saying Juliet? You are NOT to touch my laptop without me pawmission is that clear?”

What was her telling everypawdy? I bet it was some dumb girly stuff, yucky! Just saying that leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

“Lennon I was not telling them anything girly and it was not dumb I was talkin to dhem about the way we kitties vocalize so well and was about to say sumfing about kitty body language which is sumfing you should understand very well since I have to use it so much to keep you from being such a pesky paw!”

Well that’s a relief to me and I am sure it is to you MY readers too but I am pawsitive that Juliet was not as accurate as I am so I will take over on this subject.

I think instead of talking about our body language we should be focusing on what we should teach da humans that we are sharing OUR homes with.

“Lennon you are just being silly how are da hoomans gonna be able to use somfing they don’t have?”

“Juliet what you screeching about now?”

“Lennon da hoomans don’t has tails so how are they ganna let anypawdy know if they are happy, mad, or scared?”

Purrs, what to do about that? Oh wait! I got it since the hoomans have arms and legs but not tails maybe we could teach them to use their arms or legs like we kitty cat's use our tails.

Them can hold their arm straight above thems head like we kitty cats does when all is good that will look kinda like a cats tail.

“Lennon I have one way da humans can use dheir arms let me type something on OUR puter to post on the bloggie.”

“OMC,  Juliet it is a BLOG not a bloggie, okay here but be fast and make it short you are not taking over MY blog.”

If da hooman is content they cans hold their arm out with the tip of one finger curved down, like we do with our tails.

“Wow I hab to admit that’s not too bad Juliet now give me MY laptop back bepaws it’s MY turn again.”

“Okay Lennon here you are suches a poop head.”

If da hooman is scared they can take their hands and make their hair all wild and bushy and then just stands up straight that would look like us  kitty cats when we puff our tail out to tell da hooman okay we warned you so keep it up if you want me to scratch the skin off your face.

        “You are just trying to make hoomans look silly now Lennon.”

“Juliet, them does not need any help in that department they manage that all by themselves.”

However, can you kitties imagine how funny a hooman would look down on their hands and knees rubbing their heads against the recliner to leave thems scent or if other hoomans got down like that smelling of the recliner. MOL!

“I have a queshion Lennon hoomans does not have the ability to move their ears the way we kitty cats do.”

“You think I does not know that Juliet.”

I would never admit it to her but she is right so that can be our topic next week me will think reals hard about this defect in da humans ears.

We hopes efferyone has a pawsitivily wonderpurr week!

Me Scratches, You Scratch, We All Scratch

By: Lennon & Juliet

Meowllo everypawdy it’s me Lennon the Cat and oh yeah Juliet is here too!

“It’s Juliet the Prissy Kitty little brofur!” “Juliet, Me don’t care bout dat an mez don’t fink anypawdy else does either!” “Lennon I think the title of our blog post this week should be Cat Scratch Fever.” “Is she serious does her really fink I will allow her to name MY blog?”

I heard the craziest thing I have ever heard any human say; the pea brain said that cats have poison in their claws. Have you ever heard anything as crazy as that line? After hearing this statement I knew for sure we needed to discuss the reasons cats scratch and dispel any rumors about poisonous claws.

“Lennon, me have somefing to say about kitty cats and why we scratch mez can tell dhem what de benefits of kitty cats scratchin are.”

“Here we go again mez gonna hab to let herz write sumfing just to make herz be quiet!”

Meowllo everypawdy it’s my turn this is Juliet, hope everypawdy had a great weekend and week. We need to make sure humans understand why we kitty cats scratch and what the benefits are for our doing this ritual.

“Juliet what makes you fink you know all dat, just bepaws you older dhan mez do not mean you are smarter!”

“Lennon I do notz claim to be smarter I just sayin mez older and me hab read and heard more about dhis subject dhan you has! I also fink we should take turnz listing the fings we knowz about scratchin and its benefits, okay?”

“Okay Juliet we will try dat cause if we don’t the slave is sayin her gonna take the laptop away from us and give us a timeout, she really finks her has the authority to do that! GIGGLES”

Some so-called experts think us kitty cat’s scratch to sharpen our claws, this is not totally accurate, there are two main reasons we kitty cats scratch:

We are marking what belongs to us, see we have glands between our paw pads and when we scratch something we leave our individual scent on the object.

We also do it to file down our nails and condition our claws by removing the dead outer-sheath that develops over time.

“Juliet you would fink humans could understand dhat they file their nails because their nails grow and they also cut them.

“Yes Lennon, one would fink they would know dhis but most humans have pea brains as you hab said so often me is sick of hearin it!”

The answer to the very INTELLIGENT human who said kitty cats have poisonous claws is we do NOT have poisonous claws.

There is another reason we kitty cats scratch?

It’s fun! Scratching is like a kitty cat exercise routine – it stretches our entire perfect feline bodies. It’s also part of our inherent survival instincts.

“Juliet you just showin off using big words dhat you don’t even know what dhey mean.”

“What are you talkin about Lennon, what word do YOU not know it’s meaning?”

“Alright Juliet, give me back MY laptop you are just being a pain and I will not stand for you using MY blog to show off!”

Just because we civilized kitty cats live in a house doesn't mean we don’t need to keep our bodies and senses sharp! Humans have got to be taught that they must allow us to participate in the behaviors that keep us feeling happy, playful, and strong.

It would be downright inhumane to keep a kitty cat from engaging in an activity such as scratching so what we have to do is show them alternate things we would be willing to use besides the sofa or our favorite recliner.

Here are a few things humans should do to help keep us kitties happy and our house intact:

Provide us with ample scratching surfaces that we like it can be something you’re human’s makes or something store-bought we must also tell our humans where they should place these scratching surfaces.

Well kitties that’s all we have time for this week we hope you have been amused and we have given you some good things to teach your humans so you can be happy and keep them out of your fur.

“Lennon mez want to say somefing else give me de

computer.

“Juliet for de onez millionth time it be a LAPTOP and no we is through for dis week so stop whining.”

Oh yeah I have one more thing to say. Here is a picture of the new scratching post/toy our slave just bought for Juliet and me~

This is the one the salve bout for us:

This is what we asked for: